Life at 50 versus 20

“Life at 50 versus 20” (I’ll be 50 in three weeks) so close enough

At 20, you go to bed at 4am and get up at noon,
At 50, you get UP at 4am and you nap at noon.

At 20, every meal includes the word Big Mac,
At 50, the only fast food you know is Subway.

At 20, your sex life is tri-weekly,
At 50, you try weakly.

At 20, Chocolate is your friend,
At 50, it’s Metamucil.

At 20, your pants are 32” x 36”
At 50, they’re 36” x 32”

At 20, you want to grow your hair,
At 50, you just want to keep your hair.

At 20, you always worry what others will say about you,
At 50, you always worry what you’re going to say about others.

At 20, you worry about braces,
At 50, it’s hearing aids.

At 20, you think “My parents are driving me crazy,”
At 50, you know “My kids are driving me crazy.”

At 20, things only hurt for one day,
At 50, one thing hurts every day.

At 20, you buy your shoes based on the sport,
At 50, you buy your shoes based on how easy it is to bend over and put them on.

At 20, you think u know everything,
At 50, you realize you know nothing.

And finally….
At 20, you think about sex every 7 seconds,
At 50, well……that’s still the same.

Great Indiana Mic-Off 11/20/2013

I’ll be at Morty’s Comedy Joint’s Great Indiana Mic-Off on 11/20/2013 at 8PM. 

This is the night the club actively seeks out new talent, so the more people I have rooting for me, the more likely I’ll become a regular there.

This is a great show with special guests (there’s usually one or two Bob & Tom regulars who stop by). Tickets are just $5 at

If you haven’t been yet, the club is awesome. A full dinner menu, tons of great drinks, and plenty of parking.

Thank you, and see you on 11/20!